“Stupid family genetics from whoever or wherever I inherited my submental fullness from!”
That’s what I thought as I looked at my reflection in the rectangular hospitality mirror hung above the sink in that hotel bathroom in downtown Greenville, South Carolina.
I squeezed the extra, loose layer of skin under my chin and cursed It, my double chin. I clearly got that from genetics. There’s no way Hades It came from aging, gaining weight, or from my poor posture.
Nope! None of those are contributors to my double chin. I’ve had it my whole life. I believe.
Yep! I don’t like how It appears on me. That’s partly the reason why I sport a beard most of the year. To try to conceal It.
Yep! I don’t like how It creases when I tilt my head down, and how my jaw disappears at the same time like some magic trick. My beard does nothing for that. Boo!
There’s more I don’t like about It, but what really dills my pickle is that I can’t rock a turtleneck under a pullover, cardigan, or sweater vest during Sweater Weather because of It.
When I wear a turtleneck, It is way more noticeable and bunchy because of the shirt’s high, close-fitting collar. It’s not a good look on me. That being said, It is my double chin, not the turtleneck.
I used to wear a lot more sweaters. Mostly cardigans with a turtleneck.
Not everyone can pull off a turtleneck shirt under a pullover, cardigan, or sweater vest during Sweater Weather. I don’t really know if I ever did, because I couldn’t get past how it made my double chin more obvious.
I have a compromise for not wearing a turtleneck shirt under a pullover, cardigan, or sweater vest during Sweater Weather that I would like to share with you.
One day during a past holiday season, I was in Belk’s talking (maybe complaining) to the attendant about turtlenecks and how they made my double chin look. I explained that I wanted something to wear under an ugly Christmas sweater to an ugly Christmas sweater party. That’s when they suggested wearing a mock neck under my sweater to the party instead.
Mock necks are dope, so I bought a red one at Belk’s that day.
I learned mock necks have a looser, upright collar that is way shorter than a turtleneck collar. A mock neck only comes up a few inches and doesn’t come anywhere close to touching a double chin. I love how it copies the look of a turtleneck without intensifying my double chin.
I loved that red mock neck.
Maybe I should bring mock necks under a pullover, cardigan, or sweater vest for the upcoming Sweater Weather season.
Maybe I should.
Maybe you should.
Maybe everyone should.
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