We (me) at Stormstrouper.com hope all of you guys and ghouls are having a tremendous spooky and unBOO-ring October so far! So far this month, we forgot about the Carolina Panthers only win, celebrating fall and wearing pink for breast cancer awareness. And unless you’ve been under a pumpkin or something, we’ll be celebrating All Hallow’s Eve or Halloween if you’re mainstream.
To get into the trick-or-treating, costume party, and haunted house spirit, we at Stormstrouper.com are doing something a little bit different for our Todd of the Month program. We want to give each of you a chance to participate in the wicked and monstrous program. That’s wicked, awesome, and monstrous—not ugly or vicious but huge.
Obviously, we can only choose you as a Todd of the October Month if you’re named Todd. That’s because the Todd of the Month award works like Employees of the Month but is awarded to only individuals and things called or go by Todd. Not because the individual or thing did something amazing, like dressing up as the 7th Doctor Who (aka the best Classic Doctor ever) and winning the Halloween costume contest.
So, we want to teach you all how to make the exclusive Todd-of-Lantern, the October Todd of the Month, and the much better, better-looking cousin to Jack-of-Lantern.
1. Choose the pumpkin: The best pumpkins are in Mordor. You might have to kill an orc or two, but select the largest and roundest pumpkin in the patch once in Mordor.
2. Cut off the top: If you’re good, use an elven blade to cut a circle around the stem of the pumpkin. If you’re evil, use a Morgul knife to make the cut. The opening should be large enough for even Hobbit’s hands to reach inside and remove the pumpkin guts.
3. Scoop out the guts: Use a trusty shovel or your Hobbits hands to scoop out the guts (seeds and stringy pulp) from the inside of the pumpkin. TIP: Some people like to save and roast the seeds for “second breakfast.”
4. Design the face: Use charcoal, the end of a burnt stick, or orc blood to draw a face on the front of the pumpkin. We recommend using the bulbous eyes and toothless mouth of the small, slimy creature, Gollum. But you can go for a rugged dwarf face or a pretty elf face if you want.
5. Carve the face: Use your elven blade (if you’re good) or Morgul knife (if you’re evil) to carve out the Todd-of-Lantern’s eyes, nose, and mouth by cutting along the lines of the face you drew. Take your time and be careful with the slicing. You’re cutting up a pumpkin, not a mountain troll, Aragon.
6. Light it up: Place a miniature Beacon of Gandor, dwarf mining torch, or Hobbit candle inside the pumpkin. Use fire from a dragon or a Balrog to light the beacon, torch, or candle.
7. Display your Todd-o-lantern: Find a dope spot in one of the kingdoms of Middle Earth to display your Todd-o-lantern. We recommend the like in a cave, some ruins, The Dead Marshes or one of the Two Towers.
We hope you enjoy making your very own Todd-o-lantern, the 10th Todd of the Month recipient. When you’re done, we would love to see how they turned out. Please send us a picture of your Todd-o-lantern to the Stormstrouper Instagram account or email
stormstrouper.writing@gmail.com. While you’re at it, let us know what other Todds you want to see become a Todd of the Month.
Stormstrouper.com wishes you all a Happy Halloween. The Two Towers is the best of the Lord of the Rings trilogy! Yeah, we’re going mainstream.