The 2025 Coachella Festival Lineup announcement makes me want to increase the text font on my phone, buy some Papa McFarland white New Balances, yell bingo, use a calculator to figure out tips, and turn on the TV subtitles. Well, I already do the subtitles with the Midsomer Murders I watch on Acorn.
I like to peep the Coachella lineup, but my curiosity this time has left me feeling ancient and unhip because I recognized very few of the band names written in the festival announcement.
Around 150 bands are playing, but I recognized only 16 by name.
It does make sense. I wrote hip in that last paragraph, so maybe I was never hip or with it. But I did a better job of keeping up with the latest and greatest bands when I was young.
I need to catch up with popular and current music like I did in my 20s and some in my 30s. That train stopped sometime before my 40’s. Shrug! Much of the stuff I listen to today was popular ten to twenty-five years ago. These were mostly the bands and musicians I recognized. Damnit!
Below is the list of bands I recognized playing at next year’s festival. Maybe you’ll get more than 11% of the bands and musicians.
2025 Coachella Festival Lineup
Above & Beyond – No
A. G. Cook – No
Alok – No
Amaarae – No
Amelie Lens – No
Amémé – No
Amyl and the Sniffers – No
Anitta – No
Arca – No
Artemas – No
Austin Millz – No
Basement Jaxx – No
Beabadoobee – No
The Beaches – No
Beltran – No
Ben Böhmer – No
Benson Boone – No
Beth Gibbons – No
BigXthaPlug – No
Blonde Redhead – No
Bob Vylan – No
Boris Brejcha – No
Ca7riel & Paco Amoroso – No
Charli XCX – No
Chris Lorenzo – No
Chris Stussy – No
Chase & Status – No
Circle Jerks—My first yes! I listen to more punk bands from the 90s, but I have definitely heard a few Circle Jerks songs.
Clairo – No
Coco & Breezy – No
Damian Lazarus – No
The Dare – No
Darkside – No
Dennis Cruz – No
Desiree Triplosm – No
Disco Lines – No
Dixon x Jimi Jules – No
DJ Gigola – No
Djo – No
D4vd – No
El Malilla – No
Eli Brown -No
Enhyphen – No
Erez – No
Eyedress -No
Fcukers – No
FKA twigs – No
Francis Mercier – No
Gel – No
Ginger Root – No
Glixen – No
Glass Beams – No
Glorilla – No
The Go-Gos – Yep! I sing along to their “Vacation” on the radio. Yep, I just said radio.
Green Day – Most definitely, yes! Dookie or Weezer’s Blue album was the first CD I ever owned.
Gustavo Dudamel & LA Phil – No
Haai – No
Hanumankind – No
HiTech – No
Hope Tala – No
Horsegiirl – No
Indira Paganotto – No
Indo Warehouse – No
Infected Mushroom – No
Interplanetary Criminal – No, but I like this name
Ivan Cornejo – No
Japanese Breakfast – No
Jennie – No
Jessie Murph – No
Jimmy Eat World – Yes, but I never really listened to their music
Judeline – No
Julie – No
Junior H – No, I thought I had for a second, but I was thinking of a band called Local H
Keinemusik -No
Keshi – No
Klangkuenstler -No
Kneecap – No
Kraftwerk – No
Kumo 99 – No
Lady Gaga – Of course, I don’t exist under a rock.
Layton Giordani – No
Lisa – No
Lola Young – No
Los Mirlos – No
Maribou State – No
The Mariás – No
Marina – No
Mau P – No
Medium Build – No
Megan Thee Stallion – Yep, Megan Thee Stallion is a huge star. Plus, she was dope in She-Hulk.
Meute – No
Miike Snow – No
Mind Against x Massano – No
Missy Elliott – Heck yeah! I still remember Missy’s inflatable suit in her “The Rain” music video.
Mohamed Ramadan – No
Moon Boots – No
Muni Long – No
Mustard – No
The Original Misfits – Definitely! I saw the Misfits at a Vans Warp Tour in the early 2000s.
Parcels – No
Parisi – No
Pete Tong x Ahmed Spins – No
Polo & Pan – No
Post Malone – Morgan Wallen & Post Malone’s “I Had Some Help” plays every fricken day, so this is a BIG yes.
Prison Affair – No
The Prodigy—Oh, I’ve definitely heard of The Prodigy. I still sometimes listen to “Breathe” as a hype track.
Ravyn Lenae – No
Rawayana – No
Rema – No
Saint Jhn – No
Salute – No
Sam Fender – No
Sammy Virji – No
Sara Landry – No
Seun Kuti & Egypt 80 – No
Shaboozey – Yes, I believe this is the guy who did a country version of Tipsy.
Shermanology – No
Shoreline Mafia – No
Snow Strippers – No
Soft Play – No
Sparrow & Barbossa – Now
Speed – No
Still Woozy – No
Talón – No
Thee Sacred Souls – No
Three 6 Mafia – Heck yeah to Triple Six! I watched Choices back in the day. I gotta stay fly-y-y-y, y-y, y-y, y…
Tink – No
Tinlicker – No
Together Pangea – No
Tops – No
T-Pain – Have I heard of T-Pain? My answer is an auto tuned yes!
Travis Scott – Yes
Tripolism – No
Ty Dolla $ign – Yes
Tyla – No
Underscores – No
Viagra Boys – No
Vintage Culture – No
Vs Self – No
VTSS – No
Wisp – No
XG – No
Yeat – No
Yo Gabba Gabba! – Lol! If this is the kid’s show, then yes.
Yulia Niko – No
Zedd – No
2hollis – No
4batz – No
<END>
Follow me on Instagram or Threads: @stormstrouper
Shoot me an Email: stormstrouper.writing@gmail.com