AltaVista Almanac Fake Local News
North Carolina man has another almost encounter with the bear-kind
A man who refers to himself as a stormwater pipe enthusiast was almost turned into a human skin rug by a familiar bear for the second time.
By Todd Stormstrouper
5/3/2024
ALTAVISTA, NC—AltaVista Animal Care responded to a call about an almost encounter with a bear in the River Adjacent subdivision Thursday afternoon.
When they arrived, they found 51-year-old Ace Chesney panicking and limping around with a twisted ankle, Animal Care reported.
When asked what happened, Chesney told authorities he was photographing a major stormwater outfall that discharges into the West Fork River when he heard growling noises inside the stormwater pipe. So he shined a light into the pipe and saw what he described as “an overly obese albino bear” moving unhurried toward him.
“The bear must’ve been napping some berries in the storm drain. It appeared in the light and barely squeezed out of the 48-inch pipe. The bear stepped forward, and I stepped back and snapped a twig. The noise must’ve spooked the bear. I saw the back of it running away, and it was white,” Chesney told Animal Care.
Chesney also told Animal Care that he had another almost encounter with this bear years prior.
“About three or six years ago, I saw him (the bear) down the river at the trail culvert,” Chesney continued to say, “But he (the bear) was much smaller and whiter back then. That was a 36-inch pipe he (the bear) came out of, and his fur was snow-colored.”
Chesney shared that he initially thought his first almost encounter was with a polar bear but quickly decided it must’ve been an albino black bear because there were no polar bears in North Carolina.
He swore he’d never leave home again without some bear spray when keeping up with stormwater pipe peeping in the future.
Bear paw prints were found around the river bank, but the bear was long gone.
AltaVista Animal Care asks anyone with information about the overly obese albino bear to call their hotline.
Todd Stormstrouper is a local news reporter for The AltaVista Almanac. He writes stories, haikus, has a blog, and a dog with a limp named Tackleberry. Okay, he doesn’t have a dog. Find him on Instagram @stormstrouper