Since it’s official Christmas time after Thanksgiving, I decided to write a letter to Santa Claus. What I say in the letter is true. However, I’ve changed some things to protect individuals’ identities and for entertainment purposes.
Dear Santa,
It’s been an eternity since I last wrote you my Christmas wish list.
You probably don’t remember me, and how could I expect you to with all the time that’s passed since the last letter, enough time for me to get lost in the sea of Christmas kids.
The real reason I expect a disremembering is because I am very different now from the last time I mailed a letter to the North Pole. My looks and the way I’m writing this third letter to you have changed tremendously.
I’ve grown into an adult, and my handwriting has come a long way from the former chicken scratched days. The handwriting that my brother teased me about in 1989 and 1991. Remember? He said that those old letters from me to you looked like a serial killer wrote them.
I hope I’m not too old to send you a letter telling you what I want for Christmas this year.
Do we, at some point, age out of being a kid on your naughty or nice list? Do we ever come off of it?
I probably am too old to still write to Santa or to the idea of Santa Claus.
Writing to you before got me all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures (Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael) for my 1989 Christmas, and the Skate or Die video game for my Nintendo Game Boy for Christmas of 91.
So if the holiday magic worked back then, it could work this year, since I have a Christmas wish list for 2025.
Without further ado.
What I want for Christmas are my two front teeth, my two front teeth. Sorry. That’s not what I wish for, and it’s utterly unnecessary.
What I REALLY wish is to win my Fantasy Football league and to destroy Turn Your Head and Goff (Gary’s damn team) during our Week 14 matchup.
I’m currently in fifth place with a 7-5 record and in a three-way tie for third. I’m last in this tie because I have the fewest points among the three of us. I wish to rise above this tie, remain at the top, make the playoffs, and ultimately win the league again.
And for Gary, I don’t want to sound spiteful, but he kept me out of the playoffs last year, and giving him a butt kicking would be amazing. Did I mention that Gary’s team is in next to last place.
Santa, thank you for the Ninja Turtles, the Gameboy game, and, hopefully, helping me become a four-time winner of the fantasy football league.
I’ve been an exceptionally good boy and don’t foresee any coal in my stocking this year.
So what do you say? I still believe.
Sincerely,
Todd aka The Toddfather Part 44
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