Moving to the big City of Charlotte was frightening and intimidating, to say the least. Charlotte is an ocean compared to the small fishing pond I was from.
The place where I moved from was, at the time, small and sleepy. I haven’t been back in a long time, and I imagine it’s still that way. It’s the type of town where everyone knows everyone’s grandmother and gets judged by their last name. We all went to the same high school, and most of them married their high school sweetheart. There was one grocery store. The only fast-food restaurants were the Subway attached to the gas station and the Hardee’s at the crossroads. There wasn’t anything to do. We mostly hung out at the river on the weekends or drove forty minutes to a larger town to go shopping, run errands, or get a decent bite to eat out.
I’ve said enough about my hometown, so I must hit the brakes on that now. Anyway, I want to change the conversation to something quick about Charlotte, North Carolina.
The Queen City has a population of over 900,000 making her the fifteenth largest City in the United States and definitely the largest City in the Tar Heel State. As the seat of Mecklenburg County, she occupies most of the County’s area, whose boundary borders water to the west, three other North Carolina counties on the north and east, and South Carolina is well south of Meck County. Additionally, I love that they refer to their central business district as Uptown Charlotte instead of Downtown.
Charlotte is like any other growing metropolitan area on the surface. There are plenty of congested asphalt roads, tall buildings, and high-density residential complexes that are squeezed into every available nook and cranny. There is so much construction.
These are just some of her bones. I view them as mere facilities for getting around, working, and living, but other things make Charlotte great. Instead, the people using and existing in those facilities give the City its fireworks presentation qualities.
The Charlottean communities and cultures breathe life and blood into the body of the City.
Lovely neighborhoods through the city limits, like Dilworth and Plaza Midwood, exemplify this. These neighborhoods are drenched in culture and have their unique physical attributes. Each neighborhood contains our favorite destinations, restaurants, and hangout spots. These places might even be heavenly if they weren’t for the demons. Charlotte is full of demons. The Immortal Elf was such a place in the clouds for me.
The Elf was like “The Land of Misfit Toys” from that crazy Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer stop-motion movie before we were all born. I saw an interview once that “The Land of Misfit Toys” was where beings could come and be their true selves. That was very true with all the supernatural folk who went there. Oh yeah, vampires weren’t the only paranormal creatures who drank cheap beer inside. There were also werewolves, half-gods, and elves, to name a few species who drank cheap beer there. And they all seemed to know me because of Rosie. They actually treated me more kindly than some of the humans I knew. That’s why I preferred them most of the time.
Sometimes, some of them shouted out “Larry the Normal” when I walked into the Elf. This welcome made me feel like I belonged in Charlotte. Once I got to know some of them, I never felt alone at the Elf. It was indeed a magical and beautiful place—and not because some of them were actual magic users.
Rosie introduced me to the owners of the Immortal Elf one Sunday evening, an elven-bounded couple called Luvon and Leena Biafynder. I learned that they were considered pillars of the supernatural community. Besides the bar, they owned many metaphysical stores, esoteric shops, and other places operated mainly for their kind and all nonhuman beings. Their restaurants and businesses provided their customers refuge and easy access to essentials.
The Biafynders (Bi-Ah-Finders) downright resembled magnificence. Magnificence is a standard quality of elves. They are as tall as basketball players, born with glowing pale skin, purple starry eyes, and light-colored hair. If that were a thing, Luvon and Leanna could have been People Magazine’s hottest couple.
That night, I met them. They trusted me enough to share that they were elves with me. After that conversation, Luvon didn’t have much to say, but Leena offered me some meatballs. We’ll get to that soon.
Rosie took me as her plus one to a grand party at the Biafynder’s lake house on Lake Wylie in the southwest corner of Mecklenburg County. The evening began with an impressive start through the open gate of the guarded lake community. All the houses in the neighborhood are massive. No other house in the neighborhood rivaled the Biafynder’s house. Thank goodness Rosie drove her SUV because I would’ve been embarrassed to drive us in my trusty beat-up Honda.
We walked into their modern lakefront house feeling slightly out of place. The brick house consisted of five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a bonus room, a recreational room, and a home gym, and the coolest thing ever was an in-ground trampoline in the backyard that night. The other guests dressed up in their jackets and sparkling dresses. The room was different from my typical room of people. The party was way more fancy than the barbeques we had back home. I don’t believe any elves were at the cookouts back home.
Thank goodness Rosie was beside me. She pointed out Gnome Gary, a few werewolves, and some other supernaturals whose names I still can’t pronounce. She looked amazing in her green dress and white heels. I would’ve been super embarrassed if we hadn’t gone clothes shopping the day before to buy me a new shirt, pants, and shoes. I was the uncomfortable one.
There was a bar with a bartender in a tuxedo pouring wine and mixing drinks. Even though Rosie worked at a bar, she wasn’t much of a drinker. I offered to drive home if she wanted to drink. We were a ways from either of our places and figured she might want to cut up a little with her friends. Instead, she just sipped a little champagne all night. I drank old fashions for the first time. Old fashions are incredible. I drink them whenever I find myself at a fancy shindig. The whisky drink is far more sophisticated than my Busch beer.
I got separated from Rosie for a little bit and wandered into the gourmet kitchen. That was the first time I ever saw granite countertops. I was in awe. Then Leena appeared in the kitchen carrying an aluminum pan of fancy meatballs. “Are you looking for Rosie?” she asked me.
She had just asked me a straightforward question, but I didn’t know what to say. I just stood there awkwardly. She patiently looked at me, holding that pan of meatballs, waiting for an answer. She was striking and quite intimidating in a powerful elf way. I could’ve just answered with a simple no or yes. I finally responded with “yeppers” instead. What the hell did I just say? Then I snapped my fingers and pointed at her. What the hell did I just do?
The Immortal Elf owner could’ve reacted in several ways to the stupid thing I just said and done. She could have given me silence, made fun of me, been sarcastic, or given me one of those death stares. I’m grateful she decided to go with kindness and acted like it didn’t happen. As dumb as saying “yeppers” was, she didn’t need me to clarify what I said. Yes! I’m nodding my head yes.
She told me that Rosie was outside, and then she gave me some meatballs. I appreciated her being as cool as a cucumber about the awkward exchange. I’m glad I didn’t get humiliated, and I’m so happy it all happened when it did because those meatballs were damn tasty.
Like Leena said, I found Rosie outside on the back porch. She had her back toward me, watching the lake currents. I walked up behind her and gave her a loving hug. “You smell like whisky,” she teased me. Standing on that porch with me is a lovely memory. We stood there awhile, watching the dark water moving under the moon. It was very serene. We didn’t care that there was a party going on behind us.
Then she asked me a question. One of the best questions someone has ever asked me.
“I hear there’s a trampoline over there. Do you want to check it out?”
“I thought you would never ask,” I whooped. I had seen some young elves jumping on the trampoline earlier at night, and it looked like a blast.
We ran down the wooden deck stairs to the lawn where the trampoline was. We threw off our shoes and began to bounce. We were kids on that trampoline. We played the trampoline popcorn game and had a contest about who could jump higher. I won popcorn, and she jumped higher than me.
Rosie giggled after I told her about my interaction with Leena in the kitchen. She wasn’t surprised that Leena responded as she did, and she commented about Leena being wonderful.
We finally moved back inside before the party wrapped up. Rosie asked me to grab some drinks from the bar. Walking back, I saw Rosie and Leena talking beside the stone fireplace. Leena must’ve not seen me because I heard her say my name and another name, Haider Cunningham. They acted a little strange when I showed up with Rosie’s ginger ale. I drank my last old fashion of the night while they changed the subject matter from me and whoever Haider was to Gnome Gary’s gnome girlfriend.
By the time I had finished my cocktails, the Biafynders had moved to the front door to say their goodbyes to their guests. On our turn to say goodbye, Luvon hugged Rosie goodbye and acted like I wasn’t there—surprise, surprise.
We talked to Leena for a minute. She also hugged my girlfriend. I thanked her for a good time. I told her it was nice to meet her.
Without skipping a beat, Leena responded with “yeppers,” snapped her fingers, and pointed at me exactly like I did in the kitchen. It was funny. I believe Rosie might have put her up to it.
On the way home, I asked my girlfriend who Haider Cunningham was. She paused and told me that it was someone the Biafynders knew, then quickly changed the subject to Gnome Gary’s gnome girlfriend. The whole thing was a little off at the time. I was curious, and she left me wanting more about Haider Cunningham. I didn’t press her. I know why she was so weird about it now.
That night was the last time I saw Luvon and Leena. I heard that they went back to FairyLand.
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